Tag line : Most motorcycles run on petrol. This one runs on blood!

I Bought a Vampire MotorcycleThose who are old enough may remember the British TV show "Boon", about a Motorcycle courier firm, which aired on the ITV network in the UK between the mid-80s and early 90s. Well one evening, a bunch of the cast and crew from the show got drunk and thought it would be a good idea to make a horror film. The result was "I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle".

The film primarily revolves around motorcycle enthusiast Nick Oddie, or Noddy to his friends (as played by British TV actor Neil Morrisey), who purchases a Norton motorcycle from a second hand dealer.  What he doesn't know though is that the previous owner was killed by a rival bike gang during a satanic ritual and the bike is now possessed by his spirit.

Noddy first realises something isn't quite right when he goes to take it out for a spin and finds it will only start up after dark. Then he discovers the bike clearly has a mind all of its own, as it forces him to plough straight through the evil biker gang that we saw at the start of the film and run them off the road. The bike then goes off on its own, and proceeds to go on murderous rampage. Bumping off members of the gang that killed its former owner, along with anyone else that crosses it.

Realising he's in over his head, he enlists the help of a local priest (played by Star Wars actor Anthony Daniels) to try and exorcise the evil spirits from it. Which proves no easy task, as the bike continues to wreak havoc on the roads, whilst both the police and bike gang come after Noddy as they think he is behind all the mayhem.

Made on a low budget, the film was primarily made up of the cast of "Boon". Most notably Neil Morrisey, who played 'Rocky' in the series, and Michael Elphick, who played Ken Boon, who turns up here as a police inspector (other prominent "Boon" cast memebers can be spotted in minor roles). Whilst other cast members, such as Daniel Peacock and Anthony Daniels were friends of the producers.

With a title like "I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle" you just know what you're going to get. The movie is exceptionally silly, but is actually quite good fun. It actually works better viewed as a comedy than a horror, though that's not to say it doesn't have its fair share of gore. There's also hilarious scene where Noddy and his girlfriend are battling the gang of bikers in a medieval themed pub and a truly bizarre dream sequence featuring a talking poo, that's years ahead of South Park.

So if you like horror comedies, then I would definitely recommend this to you.

Overall marks : 6/10.

Terrifying Trivia.

  • The film makers had wanted to use a Harley Davidson for the bike, but they couldn't convince the manufacturers to let them have one. So they ended up using a Norton.

  • Filmed between series 3 and 4 of "Boon". Many of the props and locations in the film had actually been hired, or loaned out, by Central TV for use in the series. But the film makers craftily extended their period of use and told anybody who asked that they were just doing reshoots for the TV show.

  • Amanda Noar, who plays Noddy's girlfriend Kim, was actually Neil Morrisey's wife at the time.

  • The White Swan pub, where the Biker gang first confront Noddy, was actually owned by Michael Elphick. He let the crew use the building for free and also provided catering for the film.

  • The building used for Noddy's house was the same building used in "Boon" series 3 for their company offices.

  • The majority of the bike gang seen in the film were made up of members from a local motorcycle club.

  • David Daker, who plays a police Desk Sargeant and Teddy Thompson, who plays a nurse, were both regulars from "Boon".

  • The window that the lead Biker, Roach (Andrew Powel), goes flying through, was supposed to be made of balsa wood and sugar glass. But the prop makers mistakenly used real wood for the outer frame and he badly injured himself. However, his theatrical make up, which simulated bruises and scars, actually made his injuries look even worse than they were. Which caused the hospital to rush him into the emergency room when they took him in to have his cut looked at. It was only when they started to clean him up and found most of his bruises were washing off they realised he wasn't as badly injured as they thought.

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